How did I get here?

That's the question.  It's a long story...

Even when I was  a teenager, I knew that I would adopt as a way to add to my family.  Sometimes I would mention it out of the blue at the dinner table, probably for the drama. 

Many years later, I was fearful that my family would never happen.  I had a dream where I saw my Grandmother who past several years earlier.  She told me not to worry and everything would be okay.  I told her she had no idea what was going on in my life as she had been gone so long.  She reassured me, it would be okay.

Then life became hard. At a time when it made no sense, I felt a heavy burden.  The burden was to decide whether to adopt.  Logically, adopting did not make sense.  But I knew I had to decided.  I requested information from 100's of agencies.  I finally landed on China.  I decided if it was meant to be, it would happen despite myself.

Every step moved forward, then I waited for a referral.  14 months of waiting.  During the long, painful wait, I had doubts.  I asked God to send me confirmation that if a referral happened that this child was meant to be mine.  Then I told God if her Chinese name had "Mei" in it, I would know that someone from above watched over her while we waited.  And if her birthday was in the month of May, I would know she would be meant for me.  May was the birthday month of the grandmother who was in my dream.

On April 5, after 14 long, painful months of waiting, the call finally came.  The agency told me they couldn't give me much information as they were still verifying the details.  But April 5 was my grandfather's birthday, this must be meant to be.  So I asked them, "Just tell me - what is her Chinese name?"  They told me Mei Guo Huan.  I knew in an instant this was my child.  Then I asked what her birthday was.  You guessed it!  It was in May.

That started my journey.   My dream of becoming a mother to one of the most wonderful beings on the planet started.